Monday, April 15, 2013

YMTC- Text Submissions

Get Your Designs Critiqued


As discussed on the mothership, You Make The Card is now open for card submissions.

If you'd like other Goblin Artisans to consider and critique your design before you submit, post it in the comments below!

63 comments:

  1. I came up with a whole bunch of these, but while many of them are fine designs, only a few are new and exciting enough to warrant entry. I'm not yet sure which to submit (and I bet that the best entry could still be improved):

    Bloodline Curse
    Enchantment
    Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, you may search that player’s graveyard, hand, and library for any number of cards with the same name as that card and exile them. Then that player shuffles his or her library.

    Conniving Lich
    Enchantment
    If you would lose life, discard that many cards instead.
    If you would gain life, draw that many cards instead.
    When you have no cards in hand you lose the game.

    Infectious Spread
    Enchantment
    Whenever a non-Zombie creature dies, return that card to the battlefield under your control at the beginning of the next end step. It’s a black Zombie in addition to its other colors and types.
    At the beginning of your upkeep, if all creatures are Zombies, exile all Zombies and Infectious Spread.

    Thanks for offering critiques!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bloodline Curse could have, "You may cast the exiled cards as if they were in your hand."

      Delete
    2. Bloodline Curse: What a killer card idea!

      Conniving Lich: I'd love to see "You have no maximum hand size." on this.

      Infectious Spread: A combination of Call to the Grave's caring about zombies and enchantment sacrifice trigger, and Grave Betrayal's stealing opponent's dead things. I don't think people will enjoy having to sacrifice it and all the things it stole for them. But without that, it's just Grave Betrayal. Could it instead have an upside effect if all creatures are Zombies?

      Delete
    3. Bloodline Curse is really nice.

      Conniving Lich is a fun idea, I wonder how it would play.

      Infectious Spread should just stay on the battlefield, why does it go? Surely if everything is an infectious zombie, a new arrival wouldn't be immune.

      Delete
    4. On adding an additional effect to Bloodline Curse: I don't think you want to offer too much benefit for the dead creatures because at some point the opponent becomes so afraid of having something killed that they stop playing creatures and that's no fun.

      On Conniving Lich: There were a few additional abilities I wanted to stick on this, but didn't want to get overly texty. No maximum handsize would be a lot of fun, but would probably make this need to cost more than BBBB so it wouldn't mirror the others. To further the mirroring I'd also love to add a "you lose when it leaves the battlefield," but didn't think it was worth the extra text.

      Infectious Spread was going for some gameplay where pressure builds and builds before releasing all at once (I designed it in a physics lecture), but I guess that doesn't really come up for the opponent if nobody wants to include it in their deck in the first place. This card may need to do more to please the person who cast it.

      Delete
    5. I also really like bloodline curse, but I'd kick it up a notch:

      Last Chance
      Whenever a nonland card is put into an opponents graveyard, you may search that player’s graveyard, hand, and library for any number of cards with the same name as that card and exile them. Then that player shuffles his or her library.

      I get the bloodline flavor of the original, but that effect feels more Spikey. Making it into a proactive haunting echoes opens the door for more interesting Johnny/Timmy mill synergies. It also feels like it has more impact on the game, even if both cards have little effect on the board. The shuffling is a problem, but it's a problem of the concept. Fortunately, this isn't a playable card for commander, so that lessens the impact a bit. It's possible you could drop this to just being creature cards from anywhere, but the idea that each spell is the last of its kind is super cool.

      I LOVE me a Lich, and Conniving Lich seems great. Honestly, I don't think it needs the max hand size rider because its an obvious synergy, which is ok. Honestly, it's a corner case that's not even going to come up that often, but I'd imagine you could take it or leave it.

      Infections spread is a clear Timmy enchantment. It would need to be extremely expensive, but it looks fun. Possibly ideas: just have it affect opponents creatures, have the creatures reenter with a +1/+1 counter to make them easier to distinguish as zombified.

      Delete
    6. I like Bloodline Curse quite a bit, it's probably the most fun card of that type I've ever seen. I like it as is.

      Delete
    7. I debated between my original Bloodline Curse and Wobbles' tweak for a long time, but ultimately decided that triggering off every card would lead to too much shuffling and seeing opponents' hands too frequently to maintain suspense, so I went with the original. I'm still not sure which is actually a superior design.

      Delete
  2. Would you run this?

    All Your Cards Are Murder
    Enchantment
    You can't cast spells.
    1BB, discard a card: Destroy target creature.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wish you could choose from three effects when the enchantment ETB. Once chosen, all your cards are that card. One of them should be Plague Rats. Maybe one of them could be a Drain life?

      Delete
    2. It reminds me of the Epic spells from Saviors of Kamigawa. I don't know how you win with it unless you are very thorough in setting it up. If it had a way to attack, I'd be okay with it.

      Food for Worms
      You can't cast spells.
      1BB, discard a card: Destroy target creature.
      Lands you control are 1/1 black Worm creatures that are still lands.

      Delete
    3. When ETB, exile a card named Murder, Relentless Rats, or Consume Spirit you own from outside the game. (It doesn't matter if those cards are not legal in this match.) Cards in your hand are copies of that card.

      This tweak is inspired by Jay Treat's "Flame On" card which makes all your cards into Shock (search his GDS2 wiki).

      Delete
    4. I think it might need something like "if you have no cards in hand, sac ~"

      Delete
    5. The Consume Spirt above should be Blood Tithe.

      Delete
    6. What about:

      You can't cast spells.
      1BB, discard a card: Destroy target creature. Put a 2/2 black Zombie creature token onto the battlefield.

      I could go for something Jaya Ballard-esque but I'd rather leave room for flavor text. Thoughts?

      Delete
    7. I like the idea of choosing an effect, but having a bunch of card text that doesn't affect play because you chose something else seems inelegant and Jaya Ballard style is aggravating to play against. One thing I might try is making it a bit more Isochron Scepter-esque.

      Delete
  3. Thank you for doing this! I am unsure which to submit.

    The first two are top down, and the last two are mechanical designs with a usable flavor concept. The target player for each in order is Timmy/Johnny, Johnny, Spike/Johnny, and Spike. They also tend to be more casual or mutilplayer focused because I see that as the best audience to try and reach.

    ***
    "Bubonic Outbreak"
    Whenever a Swamp enters the battlefield, that Swamp’s controller puts three 1/1 black Rat creature tokens onto the battlefield.
    At the beginning of each player’s endstep, he or she sacrifices a third of the creatures he or she controls, rounded up.

    "War of the Roses"
    When NAME enters the battlefield, exile all cards from target player’s graveyard.
    Each creature gets +1/+1 for each card in its owner’s graveyard that share a color with it.

    "Desecration"
    C: Target player exiles a card from his or her graveyard. Then, if there are no cards in graveyards, destroy target creature.

    "Necro Tutor"
    You skip your draw step.
    B, Pay 1 life: Exile the top card of your library face down.
    At the beginning of your end step, look each card exiled by NAME put one of them into your hand, then put rest into your graveyard.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love the Rat generation on Bubonic Outbreak, but I wish the second ability felt more integrated. Maybe something like this?
      Bubonic Outbreak
      Whenever a swamp enters the battlefield under your control, put two 1/1 Black Rat creature tokens onto the battlefield.
      At the beginning of your end step, each player loses X life, where X is the number of Rats you control.

      Delete
    2. The second ability on Bubonic Outbreak is integrated from a top-down perspective. People die in an Outbreak. The rats help you (and other players with Swamps) get the better deal out of the situation.

      Is that the concept you like the most?

      What does anyone else think?

      Delete
    3. Who are these cards aimed at, psychographically?

      Bubonic is obviously insane. I like the top down flavor, but at worst it's The Abyss meets Assemble the Legion.

      War of the Roses is interesting, but it's not a black card. Black doesn't get Bad Moon effects anymore, even those with a graveyard flavor, that's far more Green and White.


      Desecration is interesting, but I wonder if that card is really exciting for Johnny, Timmy or Spike. I'm sure Johnny doesn't mind slaughtering creatures, but depending on the C it's quite a bit of work to off the first guy. The problem is that after that, it's just a creature killing machine, which probably does lead to interactive games. There's clearly something there, but it's the kind of design that seems a bit unsafe at any speed.

      I like Necro Tutor! I'm not sure how a straight Necro Rift will fair, but this seems like a neat compromise. I'd be tempted to just make it straight pay life, to keep the similarity as clean as possible. I'd also be tempted to just leave the cards exiled, dumping them into the graveyard diverts the focus of the card, and it dilutes the concept from being a clear call back to Necro, which exiled your discards to prevent reanimation.

      Delete
    4. Honk, honk, Wobbles!

      Bubonic OUtbreak is Johnny/Timmy. I imagine it'll get priced out of Spike's interest range. I think the flavor is solid, but it's only a fun card if more than one player gets to make Rat tokens.

      War of the Roses is symmetrical. So it's not totally Bad Moon. Plus, it's a set up for the hasn't been done before. But if mass pump is just never acceptable in Black, I could use counters. I could do " Each creature enters the battlefield with a number of +1/+1 counters equal to cards in its owner's graveyard that share a color with it."

      Yeah, Desecration is broken once it clears the yard.

      Necro Tutor only moves cards to the yard so players don't ammass a larger and larger pile of exiled cards to pick from each turn. Otherwise, yeah, I'd leave 'em exiled.

      Thanks for the comments.

      Delete
    5. After comments, I have made a few adjustments. Now I need to decide which design to submit tomorrow.

      "Bubonic Outbreak"
      Whenever a land enters the battlefield, its controller puts three 1/1 black Rat creature tokens onto the battlefield.
      At the beginning of each player’s upkeep, that player loses life equal to the number of Rats he or she controls.

      "War of the Roses"
      When NAME enters the battlefield, exile all cards from target player’s graveyard.
      Each creature enters the battlefield with a number of additional +1/+1 counters on it equal to the number of creature cards in its owner’s graveyard.

      "Necro Tutor"
      You skip your draw step.
      B, Pay 1 life: Exile the top card of your library face down.
      At the beginning of your end step, look at each card exiled by NAME this turn, then put one of them into your hand.

      Delete
  4. I'd love to get feedback on these two:

    "Bringer of the Mornsong"
    Enchantment
    At the beginning of your upkeep, pay 2 life, search your library for a card, then shuffle your library and put that card on top of it.

    "Zero Sum"
    Enchantment
    Whenever you cast a creature spell, you may pay 3. If you do, target player sacrifices a creature.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think the first one is unprintable because of how often you have to shuffle.

      Zero Sum seems like it could become oppressive if costed too low, but given that WotC is going to develop it I guess that's a non-issue and the callback to Equilibrium is cool.

      Delete
    2. I dont think its unprintable, because we do already have Maralen of the Mornsong. That said, it lacks a bit of the wow factor because it has been printed already (or close to it).

      Zero Sum is more unique, and players do love grave pact. Personally, I'd leave off the cost. That feels more like a Development issue than a design one. It also suggests that you might recognize that the concept is a bit harsh to play against (if you've ever tried to keep a creature on the board against Grave Pact, I'd imagine you know how frustrating that can be.)

      Delete
    3. Maralen doesn't actually make you tutor every turn though because almost every deck can deal with her. This will likely stay on the board for the entire game instead of a few turns.

      On Zero Sum, I don't understand why you're advising leaving off the cost. If they're posting the submissions as entered they may shy away from picking it without a cost because players will be angry when they have to add a cost in development. I imagine having a cost on there makes it more likely to get into the final batch, but less likely to win the final batch provided that it gets in.

      Delete
    4. This kind of repeated tutoring only shows up on Bringer of the Black Dawn and Maralen of the Mornsong, and it seemed fitting as an enchantment as an analogue to Phyrexian Arena type effects. The repeated shuffling hopefully wouldn't be too bad in Constructed where you can set up to kill your opponent quickly, but now that I look at it it seems like a nightmare for Commander.

      Zero Sum was supposed to evoke both Equilibrium and Grave Pact, which are both wildly popular. I think you're all right that as is it could easily get Developped out of existence. It's hard to make this kind of card attractive and fair. An earlier version I had seemed too oppressive:
      Zero Sum2
      Whenever a creature enters the battlefield, that creature's controller sacrifices a creature.
      Exile six creature cards from your graveyard: destroy ~. Any player may activate this ability.


      Delete
    5. It just depends on who these cards are for. These both look like fun Johnny cards to me, one sets up fun combos and the other has a lot of those grave pact synergies. The problem is that neither can really be pushed for spike and still be fun. Repeated shuffling would be fine for 3BB and would have a home in commander, but that cards never going to see constructed play anymore than Lilliana Vess did.

      Zero sum reminds me of Death Match, which had a similar effect, but just is just extremely difficult to play against.

      Delete
  5. Needs work but I think this would be the ultimate black enchantment

    "Fixed Pestilence" 1BB

    Any player may skip their draw step. If they do, they may pay any amount of life that does not reduce them to zero life. If they do, put a -1/-1 counter on each creature for each two life paid this way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Two "If you dos" is not great templating. And -1/-1 counters are unlikely to be in YMTC as it needs a block theme to support it. Wizards won't let -1/-1 and +1/+1 counters be in the same set.

      How about:
      Lose 2 life: CARDNAME deals 1 damage to each creature. Any player may activate this ability only any time he or she could play a sorcery.

      Delete
  6. This is all that exists with -1/-1 counters so far http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Search/Default.aspx?action=advanced&color=|[B]&type=+[Enchantment]&text=+[-1/-1]&subtype=+![%22Aura%22]

    ReplyDelete
  7. Not read anyone else's yet.

    As a UK resident, I was rather upset that suddenly, I couldn't submit an idea. I would've liked to have known up front.

    Here were my thoughts:

    Necromance
    You can cast creature cards from your graveyard.

    Endgame
    Flash
    You control each opponent.
    At the beginning of your upkeep, you lose the game.

    (MTGColorpie rightly pointed out that this is horrendous with any sort of bounce, which probably means it would only work as an Instant. I like the idea of someone comboing off in EDH and you suddenly stealing it and then trying to win. Someone casts two or three Time Stretches and suddenly, those are your turns. Feels Black, but it's an Instant, not an Enchantment.)

    Sanguine Bond for the Hand
    Whenever you draw a card, target opponent discards a card.

    And of course, the mirror:

    Exquisite Blood for the Hand
    Whenever an opponent discards a card, you draw a card.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Another idea:

      Compost Ritual
      1B, Exile a creature card in your graveyard: Search your library for a Swamp card, reveal it, and put it onto the battlefield tapped. Then, shuffle your library.

      Delete
    2. I like Necromance a lot (it inspired me to design All's Done, below).

      Endgame's cool, and I think Final Fortune's justifiable in black, but I don't think Mindslavering the whole table will actually make for fun game play.

      The vampiric hand cards are awesome, and I expect we'll see them printed at some point (well, we already have Geth's Grimoire).

      While Compost Ritual probably isn't unprintable, I don't think it really fits perfectly into black's slice of the color pie. This would make an awesome Golgari card, though.

      Delete
    3. I think Endgame is one of those cards that may turn out to not be fun at all. The idea is in a big multiplayer EDH game, the card suddenly takes on this desperate mini-game. The guy who plays it needs to be able to win now, and everyone else has to try to sabotage themselves to stop them. It may die the death of a thousand qualifications, but if it could work, it would be a wonderful EDH mythic.

      Nonetheless, it's out of bounds for YMTC as it has to be a spell, not a permanent.

      Delete
    4. Bass, if you can't submit a card design, do you mind if I submit Necromance? I'm not super happy with my ideas (below) and yours seems awesome. I'll credit you if you'd like.

      Delete
    5. I did not end up submitting Necromance, although I still think it's a brilliant idea. See below for my submission.

      Delete
    6. I also enjoy Necromance. Elegant. Though, I don't know if there are some potential game-breaking issues with always being able to cast creature cards from your graveyard. If there aren't, I would love to see this get printed.

      Delete
  8. I've already submitted mine, but for posterity (and comments) here's what I designed:

    "Phenomenal Cosmic Power"
    Enchantment
    Whenever you tap a Swamp for mana, add {B} to your mana pool (in addition to the mana the land produces).
    You may spend black mana as though it were mana of any color.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not really convinced that the any color use falls into Black's slice of the color pie, but I always loved the game play Celestial Dawn enabled and this is a cool way to ramp it up.

      Delete
    2. My inspiration for the card was Black's ultimate desire of omnipotence. So I wanted a card that gives you a lot of power (mana) and throws open the doors on what you can do with that power (play any color of spells). The effect is rare enough to not really have a specific place in the color pie, and Black's rule-breaking mentality seems as good a place as any for it to bleed into (a better place than White, at any rate).

      Delete
  9. Another that I probably won't submit because it's directly inspired by Bass' Necromance:

    All's Done
    Enchantment
    You can play cards from your graveyard, but not from anywhere else.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you would have to add an exile clause to that so you can't replay the same spell over and over.

      All's Done
      Enchantment

      You may play cards from your graveyard, but not from anywhere else. If a card would be put into your library exile it instead.

      When you have no cards in your library sacrifice All's Done.

      Delete
    2. I want to see "Cards in graveyards can't be exiled" on this card.

      Delete
  10. Ritual of Darkness B
    Enchantment

    When Ritual of Darkness enters the battlefield add BBB to your mana pool.

    If you would win the game, you instead lose the game.

    I miss Dark Ritual.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's an awesome design, if rituals were at all still in Black. The closest I could think of to being on color would be

      B
      Swamps you control have "T: Add BBB to your mana pool."
      If you would win, you lose.

      That loses a little something though, as we just saw that effect w/ Liliana 3.0

      Delete
  11. Reincarnation Cycle (it needs a better name)
    Enchantment (R)
    Whenever a creature is put into your graveyard from the battlefield, you may pay 1B. If you do, return that card to your hand.

    Only been done once before, as Sigil of the New Dawn in a different color waaaaaay back in Onslaught.

    Or how about:

    Caught in the Web
    Enchantment (R)
    Whenever a creature deals damage to you, put a -1/-1 counter on it.

    or

    ...something.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Or this:

      I Feed on Your Suffering
      Enchantment (R)
      At the beginning of each end step, put X +1/+1 counters on target creature you control, where X is the amount of life each opponent lost this turn.

      Can anyone find a better wording for this?

      Delete
    2. OR:

      I Feed on Suffering
      Enchantment (R)
      At the beginning of each player's end step, put X +1/+1 counters on target creature you control, where X is the amount of life that player lost this turn.

      Delete
    3. Final Submission

      I Feed on Suffering
      Enchantment (R)
      At the beginning of each end step, put X +1/+1 counters on each creature you control, where X is the amount of life you lost this turn (damage causes loss of life.)

      Delete
  12. This is what I would like to submit. What do you think?

    Faustian Bargain
    At the beginning of your upkeep name a card. Exile the top six cards of your library, then reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal the named card. Put that card into your hand and exile all other cards revealed this way.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Johnny Puzzle
    Enchantment
    You can't cast spells.
    Discard X cards: Search your library for X cards and put them into your hand. Then shuffle your library. X can't be zero.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. this might be a little (very) broken without some additional cost, like losing life for however many cards you dig up.

      Delete
    2. The reason why I'm not submitting this is because I feel like it'd only be good in decks where casting it immediately wins you the game, which is boring. Just brainstorming here.

      Delete
  14. This is probably way too complex for what is arguably a minor effect.

    Mass Exhumation
    Enchantment
    When ~ comes into play, put your library into your graveyard.
    If you would ever draw a card, instead take a random card from your graveyard and put it into your hand.
    If a card would go to your graveyard from anywhere, instead put it on top of your library.
    If your graveyard is ever empty, you lose the game.

    ReplyDelete
  15. It seems like the card you're looking for is Morality Shift. I'd shy away from cards that cause you to use the game if they're removed.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I submitted a lich variant. The theme is that your opponent has managed to get past your blockers and kill you, only to find out that it was one of your creatures, and not you, that was actually his opponent, the mastermind pulling the strings.

    Whenever a source would reduce your life total to 0 or less, you may sacrifice a creature. If you do, gain life equal to that creature's power plus that creature's toughness.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I had a couple of ideas stewing around, but after perusing Gatherer I decided to reimagine Death Pits of Rath as a more exciting arena of mortal combat; it bends the color pie bit, but it does so in the name of flavor:

    "The Deathier Pits of... Death"

    Creatures must attack or block each turn if able.
    Attacking and blocking creatures have deathtouch.
    Whenever a creature deals lethal combat damage to another creature, its owner draws a card.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Some further thoughts on my Exhumation idea. Mostly, I realized that it's better if the card doesn't do the work and put your library into your graveyard. There's other things that can do that.

    Exhumation
    Enchantment
    You cannot draw cards.
    At the beginning of your upkeep, choose a card in your graveyard, put it into your hand, and lose life equal to its converted mana cost.
    If a card would go to your graveyard from anywhere, exile it instead.

    Alternate Exhumation
    Enchantment
    If you would draw a card, instead choose a card in your graveyard, lose life equal to its converted mana cost, and put it into your hand.
    If a card would go to your graveyard from anywhere, exile it instead.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Here is what I am thinking about:

    Mind-no-potence BBB
    Enchantment
    At the beginning of your upkeep, you draw a card for each insanity counter you have.
    B: You gain one insanity counter. (Whenever a player draws a card, they take one damage for each insanity counter they have)


    my idea is a new counter for players. now you can be poisoned, or you can be driven mad. the way insanity counters work is that they are triggered whenever you draw a card.

    thoughts?

    ReplyDelete
  20. Mordor BB (R)

    Black creatures have B: +1/+1 until end of turn.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Subverted Visions
    Enchantment
    Whenever you cast a spell from your hand, each opponent exiles the top card of his or her library.
    You may cast nonland cards exiled with Subverted Visions. You may spend black mana as though it were mana of any color to cast those cards.

    ReplyDelete